SeaBiscuit

When K Squared Vineyards was first getting started, we quickly realized we need some machinery power to help us dig, till, plow, move, ecetera. You get the picture. But one of the key things was to keep it within our budget which was pretty much nothing. We needed a tractor that could do what we needed to do without breaking our bank. Thus, Kenny went to work.

Kenny is like your typical guy, if it has wheels and an engine, he's on the chase. I can't stand going through all the classifieds.....newspaper, the Nickel, Auto Trader, Ebay to find that perfect machine, but he loves it. Everyday he's scouring the classifieds on the web and in the paper, searching for that perfect tractor. One day he finds it. He linked on to this website called "Tractor House" (what won't they think of next) and found our perfect match.

This tractor is owned by an Asian guy in Huntington Beach, CA. Actually, this guy owns lots of tractors. Well, he doesn't really own them. He is kind of the liaison between people who want to sell tractors in America, but the tractors are out of Asia. No biggie, right? Besides, the photo looks great. So we borrow our friend, Bob's big ol' truck with a trailer hitch, rented a U-haul car trailer and mosied out to California....during our Christmas holidays.

We get out to Huntington Beach rather uneventfully, and we make our way out to grab our prize. We already had to put down a deposit. We show up at this indescript warehouse kind of place and just an Asian girl, who speaks no English, is there. Eventually, an old white guy shows up. At least he does know who we are and why we're there. He opens up the back lot and drives out the newly aquired purchase.

He pulls it next to the big ol' truck and the tractor looks like a toy next to the truck. The truck's wheels are up to the seat of the tractor. Is that the same tractor I saw in the website photo? It's, it's, it's... so small. The tractor's like a riding lawnmower on steroids. I ask Kenny, "Are you sure this is it?" We ask the guy that same question, he rummages around inside and brings out the paperwork. Well, it sure looks like it. But we really can't tell because all the imprints on the tractor are in Japanese, and we don't speak a lick. Great. We have a Mitsubishi 20 HP, 4-WD tractor.... maybe. When we ask for the user's manual, the old coot rummages around in the back office some more, and returns stating he'll send us one. Three years later, still haven't seen it. Ok, so this is not so bad we convince ourselves. Especially since we spent 12 hours getting here.

Resolved to make the best of it, we go about the next task of putting the tractor on the car trailer. The old guy drives the tractor around to the back, the U-haul retractable ramps are out. Stop! There is no way in hell we are going to get that tractor on that trailer. The tractor's too narrow! Narrower than a Kia? I find that hard to believe! But ergo, it is. So we put our creative hats on, by then the old guy has flown the coop, and work on getting that damned tractor on that damned trailer.

Our buddy Bob has a 1/2" piece of plywood board in the back of the covered bed of his truck. Ah, that'll work. We put that down, start bringing the tractor up the makeshift ramp, and quickly realize the tractor's too heavy for that piece of plywood. Even if it is just two out of the four wheels making their way up the board of wood. Then the Asian guy who we bought the tractor from shows up from the back with a long 4x4. Where'd he come from? We stick the 4x4 under the plywood and slowly drive the tractor up the ramp. By now we've built a makeshift platform to put the tractor on from random construction wood stacked in the back of that tractor lot. There's a lot of stuff back there. But there are no tie downs to tie down the tractor to the trailer. Nada. Nothing. Nothing to firmly, but not too firmly, we don't want to have the tractor break through the random construction wood holding it on the trailer, tie it down. We decide to hit the Home Depot we passed on the way to the tractor house.

Kenny fills out the rest of the paperwork and says his goodbyes. Meanwhile, I've returned the plywood ramp to the back of the bed of the truck. When I attempt to return the construction ladder back on top of the plywood, my depth perception fails me and I ram the ladder right through the front glass, shattering the glass into a million pieces. On the bed, on the drive, right underneath the truck. I burst into tears. I can't take anymore. This whole scene sucked and I just collapsed under the vacuum.

Kenny dutifully helps me clean up the glass, assures me that $3000 for the uber-riding lawn mower is a good deal, and wasting our holidays by driving all the way out to California to pick up a tractor instead of skiing in the mountains was not a waste of time. I don't buy it, but at least I appreciate the optimism, and spousely support.

All cleaned up, off we go to the Home Depot with the tractor riding free style. We cringe at every curb, and pot hole. We take turns like your 90-year old grandma. We buy a various assortment of tie-downs, not really knowing what kind we need. We get the small motorbike kind, and we get the ATV in the back of the bed kind. And just for grins, we get 2 "holds down the earth" kind. Whoo, expensive. I feel good though. We feel good about this. However, our returned relaxed mood is once again ruined as we see from the rear view mirror, the front 2 tiedowns flying free as a bird behind us as we are on our way back to Colorado. the tie downs slamming heavy on the U-haul trailer, and occasionally on the truck.

We instantly pull over in LA traffic, taking our lives truly into our own hands, and use the friggin' expensive tie-downs. We doublecheck the back ones, and feign ourselves that they'll be alright. What else are we going to do anyway? We don't have anymore ties.

We travel on, feeling good (enough) about the purchase, happy to be on the road without any more crises. Then we hit Utah. The snow is beginning to fall. Look how pretty the snow is, I think. And then we hear the weather forecast on the radio. Severe snow storm warning all across Utah, up to 3 feet in some areas. We were travelling interstate, I-15 to I-70, the whole way but a snow storm is a snow storm. The wind was brutal and the roads were slick so we decided to stay the night (wasting another day of our Christmas holidays) in Richfield, UT, population 700 and another mile high city. We wake up the next morning to a good 4' of snow, and no snow scraper in sight.

K Squared Vineyard personnel slowly, cautiously make their way back to home. Home only 32 hours after leaving Huntington Beach. I am not quite sure if it was all worth it. Kenny in his quest to make the best out of this situation, decides to make a valiant purchase.

We dump the "tractor" out in front of the garage. Fellow farmers come by and inquire about the tractor, pseudo-lawn mower. They'd ask what are we going to do with it, what are we going to use if for. They'd gather together and snicker behind Kenny's back on their 150 HP tractors.

So Kenny's purchase put the mark of honor on our little tractor. He found a Ford Mustang hood ornament on eBay for $12. He promptly attached the hood ornament to the front of the tractor.

Thus, the tractor is named Seabiscuit. After the famous racehorse, deemed "small but mighty." But truth be told, we could use a little more mighty. Just take a look at the rigged gym weights hanging from the front.

Remember Imbibe and Enjoy.