Poisons and People

K Squared Vineyards sprays about 3 times a year for pests and powdery mildew. Last year we hired a guy I used to work with at one of the wineries in town to spray our vineyard. It was a bit expensive and we had to buy our own chemicals. The chemical acquisition was a trip into la-la land. I thought "Hmm, what we spray on the grape vines should be pretty straightforward, right?" but when I ask him about what we should use, he says under his breath (we are in the middle of the vineyard, not a soul in sight), "Go to the Co-op and ask them." Ok, but I am a little baffled as to why he wouldn't tell us what he used in the past and presently, for that matter. And he was really reluctant to spray our field. I felt like I was doing something illegal or pervertedly nasty.

Since I never got a straight answer from him, I quietly, and wearing dark glasses, sneak into the Co-op. This store is the farmer's friend because it's close and they've got everything a farmer needs: horse hoof lotion, lamb feed, chicks (they are so cute), and THE CHEMICALS. I silently walk up to the staff person working in the back and ask, "Do you have the chemicals needed for spraying a vineyard?" I half expect to get reprimanded or at least shooed out of the establishment for daring to ask, but he calmly replies, "Sure, follow me." We go outside, to the very back corner where this dilapidated storage shed, with a big lock on the door, is ominously looming. He pulls out his big bundle of keys and unlocks the rusted lock with a very tiny key. The door plops open and the official smell of Dow chemical races out to embrace us. Whoo! Any length of time in that shack can NOT be good. He goes in and pulls out container after container until he finally reaches a large bag filled with cocaine-looking powder.

"Here's the stuff for powdery mildew, right here." he says as he passes it out to me. It's covered with white dust and I wonder if I should be wearing gloves. But no immediate burning sensation, so it turns out all right. Then he opens the lid to the covered bin, digs in deep and pulls out a gallon jug (looks like a windshield washer fluid jug), with no label and passes it out to me. The light brown fluid is thick and I don't dare open the cap to smell it. "Ok, that should do ya. That'll be $300." "300$!!" I exclaim. He shrugs his shoulders and says, "You asked for the stuff." I reluctantly pay the cashier like a user in a drug deal where I think I've paying too much, but where else am I gonna get this stuff. I phone the spray guy to tell him I've got the stuff. He says "Put the stuff on your front porch. I'll come by tomorrow." The deal goes down. I still don't know what the stuff I actually got was, but it looks like stuff that would kill vineyard eating things.

That was last year, this year is different....better. I don't know if our neighbor took pity on us or if they thought, "We better help these losers out because if their grapes become a veritable paradise for leaf hoppers and powdery mildew denizens, those pests will hop right over to our nice, mature vineyard and feast on it as well. That would be bad. Our neighbor's are great. He is kind of a gadget guy and last year, at the end of growing season, he bought a turbine driven sprayer. It's orange and has this big ol fan on the back end. It has a 100 gallon tank on the skid before the fan. It works like a charm. You do NOT want to be behind it when it is spraying away.

Currently, we have a great arrangement. I gave them what was left of the chemicals from last season and then he goes and sprays. He sprays their vineyard first and then ours. He does it whenever they need their vineyard to be sprayed, which is normally when we need our vineyard to be sprayed, and when the weather is perfect for spraying. He's a stickler for detail, thank goodness.

The perfect weather for spraying is no wind, and the air temperature is less than 68 degF. Most times that is in the evening. Where we live in Colorado most nights, it is less than 68 degF so not a problem. When spraying is determined and the weather is just right, he will don the spraying ensemble. A white, tyvex plastic unisuit, a respirator, googles that seal around his face, leather gloves and a hat. The hat's just for the vineyard farmer look.

Then he jumps on the tractor, opens up the spray valves and the spray permeates the air. You can smell a sweet smell in the air. Kind of like the odor of ester. When he's spraying, we turn off the swamp cooler, close all the windows and doors, and breathe shallowly. This not stuff you want to have in any one of your orifices.

The neighbors that live to the south of us obviously have a different philosophy. I happen to catch them while I was staring out the window, on alert to help if he needed help. This family of four and their 20 closest relatives, are outside in the backyard in the pool, the side that faces the vineyards, and grilling burgers. Meanwhile I can see the chemicals spewing out, hitting the vines, and tumbling into the atmosphere. The neighbors have a multitude of children splashing away in the pool, and the grownups are gathered round the grill drinking sweetened tea. Do these people not know what is in this stuff that is currently spewing in the air? They've lived here their whole lives. Sometime I want to casually go up to the wife and ask "So how are your kids these days? And lingering colds or strange sores that just won't heal?" But I probably never will.

They must think "My granddaddy, my daddy and me have lived this long with everything being alright, why change now? Ah, the beauty of a small town. Meanwhile, I'm thinking of wearing a respirator in the house when he sprays again, just in case.